I had what I would consider a "normal" childhood and by "normal" I mean incredibly eccentric. I was raised by an over protective (incredibly caring) mother and a father who wasn't always around but was there when it mattered. This was due to his job which allowed him to care for the three extremely demanding women, he has currently lost a majority of his hair and blames the women in his life for this. My parents are indescribable and I've grown to appreciate them more now then I ever did during my youth. They are as close to perfect as humanly possible and I adore them more then words could ever express! Along with my "perfect" parents came my older sister. Oh Natasha LaVonne! Growing up she was as zany as her name. She shaped my childhood in so many ways and I thank god every day for giving me such a strong role model. As I write more you will learn that my sister and I haven't always been close (now she's my only leg to stand on) and I will relate a lot of my current life obstacles to the HELL she put me through growing up!
At the ripe ol' age of 18 I decided I was over my life as I previously knew it. The summer after my senior year I loaded up a U-Haul, a Kia Sportage, and my high school sweet heart (who we will call Hammer), and we headed north. Bozeman Montana to be specific. I was going to college, determined to be a doctor, lawyer, professor, anything with promises of power, prestige, or money. I had huge dreams for a 100 pound girl! I was going to be something revolutionary! Being in college was amazing and I started my freshman year STRONG. I gave everything 110% including drinking, partying, socializing, meeting, greeting, grinning, grieving, fighting, crying, and yes even academia! As I gave 110% to everything certain things began to fall apart, mostly my three year relationship. You see, Hammer was giving 110% to just drinking, eating, sleeping, and come to find out a little blond tramp who will remain unnamed for she is not worth it. The relationship was stuck in the most destructive limbo imaginable. Fight, make up, drink, fight, make up, drink, fist fight, make up, drink, fist fight, meet the cops, make up, drink, and eventually complete and total DESTRUCTION! Even as the relationship was coming to an end I fought like hell to keep him. This by far was one of the hardest loses of my life, even compared to some deaths I've experience. I have to tell you I have always have bad taste in men and as you read more I will relate back to the life lessons I learned from the Sledge Hammer and those who came before and after him.
Heartbreak hurts but life goes on!! I realized I was an adorable, young, listless girl, with a smile on my face and the world at my feet. Newly single I thought I was the SHIT! HA HA HA if there is one thing college boys will do for you it's bring you down. I spent the next the two years of my life meeting men (who were essentially just boys reaching out for a mother figure), who I like but never enough to let them stay in my bed. Let me tell you, nothing makes a college boy mad like making him sleep on your couch every time he tries to stay the night. There was only one who didn't mind that couch and he stayed for a long time. He is now and will forever remain one of my best friends!! I fell in love with this man on a much deeper level, then appearance or personality, and although I didn't realize it at the time, mainly because he too was a dick. I had fallen in love with his soul!
Throughout the trials of my single years, I made the most of it by making incredible friends. Drewfus, Nicky Noodle, Rodgo, Japan, and Nestle (who will be referred to as Team Smash when group together) became my confidants, my partner's in crime, my sunshine on a cloudy day. This was one of the best times in my life. I lived everyday like 5 guys, a girl, and a pizza place, except my life wasn't portrayed in a horrible comedy. Out of these 5 men grew Smash. Smash is my alter ego. She's everything I'm not and everything I aspire to be! Smash is brave, assertive, messy, uncontrollable, and fierce. During this time in my life Smash would show up in an elaborately thought out costume (I was sooooo into theme parties), Boones Farm in hand, and six sheets to the wind due to the mass amount of tequila she had consumed prior to noon. Not a care in the world! Smash danced on tables, snuck into bars, sleep when the sun came up, and my favorite, she would always attempt to fight the biggest man in the room (which eventually yielded a black eye from the bastard's girlfriend)! At the end of the night my alter ego and I would end up safe and sound on the stinky futon of a Hawk's Ridge apartment, only to wake the next day and start it again. So public, readers, fans, and family I would like to introduce to you, the one and only Smash!
Introducing Team Smash
From Left to Right: Rodgo, Drewfus, Smash, and Nestle! In this picture we are at a bar in Livingston Montana, population 12, all of who were at the bar with us, celebrating Nestle's birthday!
From Left to Right: Rodgo, Drewfus, Smash, and Nestle! In this picture we are at a bar in Livingston Montana, population 12, all of who were at the bar with us, celebrating Nestle's birthday!
Rodgo, Smash, Nicky Noodle
Japan
